thoughts on love…

I have come to a realization in my life… there are so many things that people look for in a relationship. Some want to be wined and dined. Others want to be showered with lavish and expensive gifts. While some even look for something akin to being worshiped by their loved one. A few even seem to expect to be served… to be waited on hand and foot. But none of these things really equate to love.

What I seek and desire from a relationship is the simplest and the hardest thing all at the same time. I don’t want roses or jewelry. I want to be cherished… to be his favorite. Does that mean he needs to think I’m perfect or the best at everything? Or course not. It’s ok if he appreciates the beauty in another’s voice as she sings… or even in her face as she passes. But at the end of the day, I want to be his favorite girl… as my grandpa used to say his ’’best girl’’. I want him to feel as honored to have me as I feel to have him. For him to want to live out his hopes and dreams with me at his side… because I want to do the same for him.

I want him to be proud to have me on his arm, but not so proud that he looks at me as if I’m a trophy or a Barbie for him to drag around and show off. I want him to be as proud of my mind, my thoughts, my dreams, and my heart as he is of my face, my hair or my body. I want to be valued, not admired. I don’t need a pedestal, because god knows I am REAL and I will never live up to any standard of perfection. Laugh at me when I do something dumb, joke with me when my hair is a mess, but love me for who I am on the inside. Because when it is all said and done, the beauty of my heart is what will remain… not the exterior shell it resides in.

In all of what I have just said one word stands out to me… and I’d like to take a moment to expound on that word a bit. The word is CHERISH. What does that really mean? I looked it up in the dictionary… ok so it was an online dictionary… but still… lol. Here is what it said:

Cherish defined-

tr.v.

, -ished, -ish·ing, -ish·es. To treat with affection and tenderness; hold dear: cherish one’s family; fine rugs that are cherished by their owners.

To keep fondly in mind; entertain: cherish a memory. See synonyms at

appreciate. 

Cherish in the thesaurus-

verb

To have the highest regard for:

prize, treasure. Idioms: hold dear. To recognize the worth, quality, importance, or magnitude of:

appreciate, esteem, prize, respect, treasure, value. 

The synonyms listed are the most telling to me… to prize, to treasure, to esteem, to respect, to value, to appreciate… That is what I want, and what I want to give to someone in return. I know I’m not your average girl… and I’m not what every guy is looking for. So I’m looking for the man that likes my eccentricities, and cherishes me for who I am… not what I am on the outside.

Hello world…

This blog is an attempt at giving myself a place to express myself where i feel free to speak my mind.  Somewhere that I don’t have to worry about who reads it.  Some of my closest friends will still read it, but this feels a bit different than myspace.  Fewer nosey people will find their way here I hope.  Instead I hope that this blog will be found, read, and followed by those who truly know me best; rather than work collegues, ex boyfriends, ex husband, and others of that nature.  I wanted a place to share my heart, in a pure and unrestrained way.  I will not however commit to writing here every day… because I am a firm believer in that if you don’t have something really good to say then you are just wasting breath.  So from time to time, when something is really on my mind or my heart you will find my thoughts here.  I hope that maybe there are others who think like me. =]